Okay, okay, I promise

Second week - do you get second week blues? Last week, full of good intentions, I wrote nearly 7 000 words. This week, the going's been harder. Firstly, editing: I know there's a problem with the Argyle narrative: it's too crowded. I've been trying to edit it down, simplify it a bit, but the problem is that it's hard to see how it fits on the page (as it turns out, I'm having printer problems). Lots of subordinate clauses, trying to say as much as I can. Part of it is the pastiche: I'm trying to write popular history, still organising the story and characters. Part of it is not wanting to let go of the Rocks or Uncle Jerry, and trying to fit them into the new narrative. I looked over the very first draft - it's not that well-written (too many parentheses, an irritating narratorial voice) but it moves so much faster - I get Argyle out of the Rocks and up to his first father in less than 3 600 words. And even then, it reads slow.

I'm up to 4 500 and Argyle hasn't even appeared yet. I know there's too much exposition, and Martha over-dominates, but I cut 2 000 and I'm still looking for cuts (I edited the Case History I wrote last week and edited 500 to make it closer in length to the others). Why am I writing so much? I'm being careful with adverbs and unnecessary parts but I can't work out how to cut more. The aim is to make something so spare that the reader imagines it themselves: evoking rather than describing. And I do manage it, mostly. But those words!

Last week, I read the New Yorker Christmas lit special. Some great articles, including an inspiring one about Pinter. But especially about one about the fraught relationship between Raymond Carver and his editor/mentor Gordon Lish. What surprised me was that it was Lish who was responsible for the minimalism Carver was famous for: he often cut the stories by up to 70%. Weirdly, Carver was ambivalent about it - Lish seemed very controlling, and he couldn't have shone rocks: there was something inherently good in those stories; but without the cuts, they're too long. Like this opening.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/12/24/071224fa_fact

Now, I'm not leaving that responsibility with any editor, but I wish I could see where to make those cuts. Or even better, how to write it down without needing to edit back. It's that balance between fluency and restraint: I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself, given it's my first week and a half back.

My other problems this week have been settling in. I just can't seem to do it. I write for an hour, then faff around for an hour. It's tiring. I can't seem to concentrate and it's heavy going. I have edited back this week, so I've only really written maybe another 1 000 since Monday. I'm also getting distracted by other stories - Kiki of Montparnasse or Dulcie Deamer, eccentric, strong women who I want to model on Martha. But I have to be careful of not stuffing the story or character with too much.

One thing though: Argyle Andrews seems a presence, elusive, unknowable. I like this. It's as I want him to be. I just need to excavate a bit more around him, or bring him to the fore and move the story as quick as I can: I'm aiming for 25 000 a section, which means I have to work quick and sparely.

Lastly, I'm finding it difficult to write this diary. I keep telling myself I should, but I'm hopeless. When? Before I start, summarising the day before? Or after I've written, when I don't know if I have any perspective on it? I'm so tired at the end of the session - and so busy for the rest of the day - I don't know where or how to fit it. I'll keep trying though: what else can I do?

Word Count: 550