Voices, problems

A couple of problems:

1. Narrative voice - people who've read or reviewed the m/s complain the voice isn't clear. But that's the case with most traditional omniscient third narrations, and nobody seems to mind. The authorial voice is either forgotten or becomes another character. While the first appeals, the second doesn't at all - even reading Somerset Maugham, his narratorial character sometimes became annoying. It's clear, for example, that Gogol is present in Dead Souls; I don't want to be present, but how do I present those different narratives and stories without appearing David Mitchell gimmicky? I've thought about writing in different modes: popular history, short story, memoir, diary, epistolary; but in at least three, I'm stuck with first person and the problems that come with that perspective. Also, writing in a pastiche of popular history, I can't describe intimate moments, only those that are known or reported. I wonder if I've painted myself into a corner there?

2. Fluency - when I first started re-writing, I felt confident, even if, writing when Leela was just born, it was overwhelming. Re-reading what I wrote then, I was impressed by the fluency, but I'm also aware I need to work fast: 5 000 words is too long for an intro. Although I promised myself I wouldn't, I looked at the very first draft I'd ever done. Fussy, overwritten - and yet Argyle Andrews had reached 12 and moved out of home by 2 500 words. I need to strike a balance between brevity and detail.

3. Editing - I thought I'd edit on Fridays; I ended up editing all week. And losing about half of what I wrote. I'm not worried about that, but I seem afflicted with the worst doubt - I can't seem to keep striking on past that edit point. I've wrestled with the setup - I want it to stay in the Rocks, but I know I have to get Martha and family up to East Sydney or the Cross soon. So why keep the Rocks? Is it sentimentality? The idea of the beginning of a national narrative? Don't know - but it's proving a tight fit. I just have to keep writing, I guess.

4. Progress - I aim for 1000 - 1500 a day. I know it's a lot, but I seemed to write that when I first started. I haven't added anything much to the word count since Friday week ago, and I seem to be fitting my writing around my life, rather than the other way round. Of course, it's having a little child, supporting April, trying to get everything organised. I know I'll always have stuff to do, but I can't seem to get started. If I had a big wedge of novel with the narrative moving along, I wouldn't worry; but I just can't concentrate or focus lately, especially this past week. I have ideas - especially late at night - and an overwhelming feeling I have no time. I wonder if this is the problem: I feel so stressed I have no time, I'm caught between rushing it and stalling. Whenever I have an idea, I'm too tired to work on it. And when I try to remember it the next day, I feel as if I'm working blind. I get uneasy about what I've written, deleting and re-adding it; yet I know that the more confident I am, the more fluent the writing will be.

Baby's crying - a tooth coming. I feel - without being melodramatic - the same way.